Infants Remembered In Silence (IRIS) - Poems

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By Melissa Delgado

Tyler John who's Soul flew to heaven 5/21/01, body born eternally sleeping to this world 5/23/01

My eyes used to see the joy in living. Now they only see the pain of death.
My hands used to reach out for the touch of another human being.
Now they long to feel the tiny hand of my son in them once again.
My heart used to beat with the joyful longing of a new day.
Now it barely beats at all. My ears used to hear the laughter around me.
Now it is only attuned to the cries of the son I can never get to,
never find to comfort, in my nightmares.
My nose used to smell the sweetness of the rose.
Now it longs to remember the smell of my baby son just after birth.
My mouth used to speak words of happiness. Now it speaks a dead “I’m fine” and nothing else.
My mind used to long for the future, dreaming of all that is to come.
Now it reminds me daily of what I do not have and the dreams that died with my precious boy.
My spirit used to feel the presence of God and His promises.
Now I don’t know that feeling any longer. It is foreign and far from me.
My friends used to call to say “How are you doing today?”
Now they are afraid to whisper his name, thinking that somehow it will upset me more.
Not possible I say, if they would only ask.
My life is so very different now, so very different.
I love you little Tyler, more than life itself. I am different because of you.
I am thankful for that difference for I was touched by an angel.

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