Infants Remembered In Silence (IRIS) - Poems

I Let Myself Love You

By Shawna Ellis

Our Children

I let myself love you
As soon as I knew
I let myself love you
But you left too soon

I knew I might lose you
Just like I lost my other
I knew I might lose you
But I am your Mother

I wanted to keep you
And watch you grow
I wanted to keep you
But I should have known

I cried when I lost you
Because I loved you from the start
I cried when I lost you
Your death broke my heart

Now I just miss you
I want you here with me
Now I just miss you
My baby unseen

I let myself love you
There was no other way
I let myself love you
But I will meet you one day

Written for our second baby, miscarried in May 2003, and in memory of this child and our two other children, one miscarried April 2002 and an etopic pregnancy, October 2003

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