Infants Remembered In Silence (IRIS) - Poems

Kindergarten Angel

By Mary Jo Gruber

In memory of Jessica Anne August 25, 1991

When the Kindergarten bus rolls past my window this Fall,
there will be tears rolling down my face.
A sweet little five year old should be leaving home,
for a seat where, for the first time, she would take her place,
but my front door won’t be pushed open,
no last minute hugs for me;
only my lonely heart aching for a little one who was never meant to be.

Would she have a ponytail?
Would it be curly or straight?
Would she walk to the bus timidly
or with a confident gait?
Would there be tears in her eyes as she waved good-bye
or merely a carefree glance?
Would she think of me on her first kindergarten day?
Would she sing? Would she skip? Would she dance?

Almost five years have passed since the night we said good-bye,
there was no hello, no coos, no cry…
only a silence so loud that I, too, wanted to die.
And since that time, I’ve held her tightly in my heart;
we are bound by a forever love although our lives are,
for awhile apart.

United in thoughts of what could have been,
my life moves ahead, although the light of her memory will never dim.

And while, this Fall, the school bus will have an empty place,
my heart and my eyes, of longing, will be full.
She is forever my love, my unknown treasure,
my special Kindergarten Angel.

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