To My Precious Daughter
 
 
I love you.

How can I ever help you understand the depth of
emotion behind those words?

You are my firstborn, the culmination of a lifetime of
hopes and dreams. And yet, the day of your birth, the
day that should have been the happiest of my life,
was my most tragic. Your twin brother, the second to
emerge from my womb, was dead.

Can you comprehend the overwhelming mix of emotions
I’ve experienced since your birth; the intense
joys of nurturing you and incredible pain of letting
your brother go?

I had such plans for the two of you! As an only child,
I looked forward to witnessing the special relationship
you would share. All the months of my pregnancy
were spent eagerly anticipating the joyous
confusion two babies could bring to our home. But with
your brother’s death, all those happy plans were
irrevocably torn away.

I feel like a child whose father has betrayed her by
snatching away a long-awaited gift just as she reaches
out to accept it.

How I wish I could make the occasion of your birth
one of pure joy. But that is beyond my control. Your
brother is as much a part of your life as he is of mine.

I will try to take this terrible heartache and mold it
into the special memories I so desperately want to
share with you.

And I will treasure you, my precious child, forever.

I love you,
Mama