Infants Remembered In Silence (IRIS) - Poems

THEY SAY

Estelle Joseph © June 2016

In memory of my 4 days old baby boy ELI-SHA MALACH JOSEPH, born on the 11/04/2016 Laid to rest on the 14/04/2016

They say let go his in a better place,
They say stop crying you'll get sick,
They say think of your other kids,
They say go back to work to keep busy,
They say it will be ok time will heal,
They say you can do this you're strong,
They say he's gone now you have to forget,
They say let him RIP.
They say he's in heaven and he's happy.
They say God will help me,
They say so much yet never go thru losing a child,
I know you mean well but think about me,
JUST LET ME BE...

After months go by...
They say you looking good,
They say so I see you're all dolled up now,
They say I see you back to normal,
They say you can't be still grieving,
They say you can't still be depressed,
They say you are normal now,
They say you all poshed up and well...yet?,
They will never understand time will never heal,
It was like just yesterday for me,
For you it maybe two months but not for me,,,

For behind this pretty face and slim body with heels and makeup and hair all done,
There lies a broken heart that can never be put back together,
They judge the outside but can't see deep with in...
There is a heart filled with sorrow for my lovely son is no more,
Yet I have to live life as normal for so shall it be,
I look in the mirror every time I dressed and brush my hair and do my face,
I have tears rolling down my face for this body once had a big stomach with movement but that’s gone in a twinkling of an eye with no baby to see,
But I will put on a smile to show that I'm ok!
For that is what you expect to see,
Can I ever be ok???

He's gone forever from my stomach, my legs, eyes, hands, body but can never be gone from my heart, mind and soul,
So let them say whatever,
My pain lies deep within,
You will never know because you never had him in you,
You never fed him your breast milk,
You never loved him the way I do,
You are not his mother I am,,,
So just stop SAYING,
And let me be,
Because I have a lock and key that only I can use to open in my secret times...
This pain can't be explained,
So just let me be I know you mean well,
But this is me,
Don't judge me for I am not the person I used to be.
I have nothing if I don't have you my sweet baby boy,
In memory of ELI-SHA MALACHI JOSEPH,
Love from mummy,

I miss you son, we shall meet in heaven my prince. Wait for me at the front golden gates of heaven and there will be mummy waiting for you.

Papa, I'll set you free for now my baby boy,
But I will be back to hold you close to me again and never let you go Eli,
That is what Jesus promised me,
You in the best place you could ever be,
Son Jesus is your mum and dad now,
So be a good boy up there my angel and when you're not busy drop by to give mum a kiss please,
Take care, son till we meet again.

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