Infants Remembered In Silence (IRIS) - Poems

Another Day

By Shawna Schneider

To Alexander Schneider, We will always remember you. Happy Third Birthday, Sweetie. With love, Mom and Dad

This is a special day,
another day.

Another day the sun rises
to greet an empty cradle
a box of tiny clothes long since packed
a dusty picture frame.
It shines across my face
still wet with tears
my aching, empty arms
and my heart which bleeds anew.
In moments I must change this all
to greet the world
for the world doesn’t like to know
such pain remains.
They just see the span of time
and the children ‘round me gathered
and would like to be left with their belief
that these have healed me.
The world is comforted with the thought
that my pain has become
a misty soft, sweet memory
not the pain, frequently sharp
stabbing, intense
other times dull, throbbing and deep.
Always there, somewhere.
And so, for now, I play along
as I sweep my smiling children along with me.
I’m aware they do not see
the three year old who’s missing.
They sometimes remember the babe
“but that was such a while ago…”
“surely by now…” they think.
To accept the grief remains so strong
makes them uncomfortable
and me a pariah to be tolerated
tiptoed around
not exactly welcome.
Yet…there are those true friends
who see the empty space
of the three year old who’s not
and stare into it longingly
and with a sigh, a gaze.

They pal my arm, a gentle squeeze,
and move with me into another day
without him.

Alexander Schneider, the son of Shawna and Scott Schneider was born and died, May 10, 1994, due to Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome.

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